You Don't Have A Dream: Advice For The Incrementally Ambitious

Intro: Dreams

Life is a long and difficult endeavour. It is full of so many different choices and series of events, with none of them being objectively better than the other. But one of them is more right for you. It is what you crave and what you desire. You instinctively know that it is perfect for you. Meant for you. So you do everything in your power to achieve it. You crave it. Every second you live in agony know there is a big difference between where you want to be and where you are. You know you cannot stay like this. So you make start making specific choices, trying to make a domino of ideal outcomes that will help you achieve your goal. Your dream. But is it a dream? A dream can be used to indicate an ambition or aspiration but I believe that it relates too closely to fictional events you see in your sleep. This is too patronising to your goal. Dreams are not something you see in your sleep. It is a place you are trying to reach that keeps you awake. Just because your present and dream differ, doesn’t mean you can’t work to make your future look like your dream.

That was just my take on dreams. The hopes and aspirations that all of us have but very come close to achieving and almost no one achieves them. They are ideally supposed to be milestones on our road to success. Straight as we close on a goal, it escapes our grasp and moves beyond our reach. So our mind essentially lures itself, like a donkey lured by a carrot on a stick. It constantly moves forward hoping that the next step it will reach out and be rewarded by the carrot. Instead, it eternally chases a feeling of satisfaction that it will never feel. At the sacrifice of your feelings, you will indeed be rewarded by things beyond your wildest expectations. The stuff of dreams.

Key Points From The Book:

The intro was just a spin-off of my view of dreams and what they mean to me. I believe it is important to have clearly defined goals that we actively strive to achieve and are willing to fight for. Dreams are something that need to be stronger than a want and indistinguishable from a need. It is only then that you will start to make progress and start to achieve them.

In this book, Tim Minchin challenges the notion that success is driven by an ultimate life-long dream. While it is not wrong to have one, you will find you will achieve more by setting small accomplishable goals and being prepared to take advantage of new opportunities as they arise. Further emphasising the notions already discussed in the first book I reviewed ‘Atomic Habits’.

Through personal experiences, he acknowledges the power of incremental, but consistent steps, perseverance and embracing uncertainty. It helps to provide an alternate perspective to approaching your goals, being especially useful for people who set one big, all-consuming goal.

I am sure you will compare the words of Tim Minchin and mine and think about why I have written what I have. My viewpoint seems to juxtapose Tim Minchin’s, yet I share his view as well as mine. This is because it all depends on who is reading this. For some people, many incremental steps to achieving their goals are better while others prefer one big approach. The majority of people will benefit from the former so I will continue to share this book's message without adding any of my input. If you agree with his message and disagree with mine, read away and see if you will change your mind. If you agree with me and disagree with Tim, read away and see if you will change your mind.

The 5 Lessons:

1. The Myth Of The Big Dream - The view of a single, defining life goal or dream can be limiting or even paralysing for some people. And that is okay. Just because you don’t have one ultimate goal doesn’t mean you won't be successful, instead if one of your goals is to be happier or live a fulfilling life this approach can be better. Experiencing stress is like swimming, based on your current ability you should choose whether you are better off in the deep or shallow end. Don’t go too far deep because everybody else is. Unlike real life, no one else will see you drown.

2. Incremental Ambition - The gradual process of creating a path towards growth and accomplishment allows you to learn, adapt and change as opportunities present themselves. Being too rigid is never good. Just because you have something in your mind, doesn’t mean that it is the only way of achieving your goal. Instead being too rigid can be detrimental to your success and when you plan in small sections you are in a better position to notice and capitalise on opportunity.

3. Learning From Failure - The most commonly repeated idea in every self-help book: Failure and setbacks are part of the learning process. While this idea can seem cliche to some and obvious to others the universal reaction of anger and disappointment we all feel when we get something wrong shows we have learnt nothing from this. But instead of just telling us the importance of mistakes, Tim ties this back to his idea, rightly saying that failure looks daunting when we are faced with smaller, incremental goals.

4. Perseverance And Patience - Although Tim disagrees with the idea of a fixed dream, he does emphasise the importance of an active approach when seeking to fulfil your dreams. Perseverance, consistency and patience are essential in the pursuit of goals, no matter how big or small the goal is. Success is often the result of sustained effort over time that accumulates over time to build towards a larger accomplishment. Achieving success is very similar to erosion, even though the wind is quite a weak force, over time it can reduce the biggest boulders to dust. Sadly, humans aren’t given that much time.

5. Happiness And Success Are Fluid Concepts - He argues that these concepts are deeply personal and should not be based on societal expectations. These two concepts should be things you truly desire, not things you have been taught have innate value. Maybe you value experiences more than physical commodities, but that doesn’t mean your idea of success is any more right or wrong than mine. For some, success might relate to financial security or societal status, while for others, it could be meaningful relationships, adventure or societal contributions. Just be sure of what you want and make choices that specifically relate to your goal. If you are prepared to sacrifice financial opportunity to live in a secluded, remote place and live off the fruits of your physical labour, there is no logical reason why you would live and work in New York.

Conclusion:

This was quite a short book that reminded me a lot about a particular section of Atomic Habits. It was a fun read and relaxing read that allowed me to gather my thoughts and also change my mind about a few things, helping me to grow and develop as a person. It also reminded me a bit about Paulo Coelho’s book ‘The Alchemist’, another book I covered earlier this year. I love reading and finding links between books I previously read. It helps to show me all the knowledge I have picked up over the course of this journey and just how far I have come.

I hope you enjoyed that review of You Don't Have A Dream: Advice For The Incrementally Ambitious By Tim Minchin. Please share your feedback and recommend any books you want me to review. See you in the next one.